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The Malaise: Falling vs. Rising

by Millaze

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1.
The Malaise 02:38
lyrics
lyrics: Oh no, I’m Oh no, I’m Oh no I’m high off you again It’s relapse or heaven I missed all this pain I’m sick Reach out to touch it My muscles are metal My skin is just glow It’s like we’re sucked into miles of white clouds and miles of we’re here now We’re here now We’re here now I know things I’ll never see Like this, the you you are to me It’s not normal, it’s disturbing It’s a raw, real fantasy It’s like we’re sucked into miles of white clouds and miles of we’re here now We’re here now We’re here now Oh no I’m high I’m high I’m high Is just glow Oh, it’s like we’re sucked into miles of white clouds and miles of we’re here now We’re here now We’re here now I know things I’ll never see Like this, the you you are to me I’m high
2.
Drunk 03:48
lyrics
lyrics: This kind of drunk doesn’t wear off This kind of drunk doesn’t wear off You mesmerize me, you traumatize me You’re like a drink that never gets me drunk But I keep coming back for more You’re trying, but I know you’re lying I’m laughing harder, and yeah I’m crying Because you’re hiding, I know you’re fighting But when you give an inch, I fall back in And in my face you slam the door I’m lighting, ticking down, igniting Dangerous and drunk Give me one more night Come on Watch me blend into the background Reaching out and chasing you down Breathe you in, I’m feeling the sound I’m feeling the sound I’m feeling the sound Wrapped around my finger somehow Watch me bend my body down now Cuz I don’t bow down No, I don’t bow down This kind of drunk doesn’t wear off This kind of drunk doesn’t And I’ll just wait till you’re drunk again Cuz that’s the only way you’ll say anything, anything Wait till you’re drunk again Cuz that’s the only way you’ll say anything, anything Years since I drank you in But you’re still in my blood I’m emptying, emptying All logic is lost, you’re nothing and everything Kind of drunk doesn’t wear off This kind of drunk doesn’t wear off But oh I know this I’m gonna blow this I’m such a hypocrite, denying it As if I’ve never swallowed in I’ve lost me, and I know the way we Step out of reality The undertow that’s pulling me I’ve been there, so I could not dare To peg you for a fool cuz I have also scraped the bottom I am both sides of the story I write Dangerous and drunk You’re not the only one Come on Watch me blend into the background Reaching out and chasing you down Breathe you in, I’m feeling the sound I’m feeling the sound I’m feeling the sound Wrapped around my finger somehow Watch me bend my body down now Cuz I don’t bow down No, I don’t bow down This kind of drunk doesn’t wear off This kind of drunk doesn’t And I’ll just wait till you’re drunk again Cuz that’s the only way you’ll say anything, anything Wait till you’re drunk again Cuz that’s the only way you’ll say anything, anything Years since I drank you in But you’re still in my blood I’m emptying, emptying All logic is lost, you’re nothing and everything Wait till you’re drunk again Cuz that’s the only way you’ll say anything, anything Wait till you’re drunk again Cuz that’s the only way you’ll say anything, anything Years since I drank you in But you’re still in my blood I’m emptying, emptying All logic is lost, you’re nothing and everything Kind of drunk doesn’t wear off This kind of drunk doesn’t wear off
3.
Be Patient With Me 03:56
lyrics
lyrics: I’m the only one with answers But I’m not gonna nail this the first time I know I look like I know what I’m doing But I’m losing deep inside Won’t you be patient with me Won’t you be patient with me Please Oh, what does she want me to give her I’m gonna be me, and that’s alright I can’t let go of the night that I hurt her She deserves a better life Won’t you be patient with me Won’t you be patient with me Please
4.
And I Won't Move 05:26
lyrics
lyrics: I think I made all of this I think I made a mess of this and I didn't mean to I remember walking with my hand outstretched Remember thinking you were pulling it I remember believing I won't forget Every move I made Every word I said I remember the moment my courage failed Realizing I'd never tell I could be the golden hair you kiss I could live forever in your grip My mountain that won't move And I never quite got to I close my eyes to view I close my eyes for you My broken wings can't move But they try to wrap round you I don't let go of you I don't let go of you I don't let go of you I don't let go of you Break every bone And I won't move I remember leaning down and holding back Remember hiding my body like that I remember the way that you judged the world made me bite my tongue, Silly little girl I remember yelling at myself to wait Don't pick up the phone Wait for him to say I want you for that beautiful mind I could live forever by your side My mountain that won't move And I never quite got to I close my eyes to view I close my eyes for you My broken wings can't move But they try to wrap round you I don't let go of you I don't let go of you I don't let go of you I know what I should do But I don't want to I don't let go of you Break every bone And I won't move
5.
If I Wasn't Serious 05:20
lyrics
lyrics: Tell me What did I miss Tell me What did I miss Tell me what songs did you play for me Tell me, oh, what did I miss Tell me What did I miss Tell me What did I miss If I wasn’t as you were to me If I wasn’t serious If I wasn’t as you were to me If I wasn’t serious It would’ve been my final lift Up and off I did not exist, did I, I did All my talk Was all I was, a life wasted But if I ran to you, if, no, if No, if, no It would’ve been my final lift Up and off I did not exist, did I, I did All that talk Was all I was, a life wasted But if I ran to you, if, no, if If I ran to you, if, no, if If I wasn’t serious Tell me What did I miss Tell me What did I miss If I wasn’t as you were to me If I wasn’t serious If I wasn’t as you were to me If I wasn’t serious No, no, no, that would have been it At the time, that would have been it Little shrunken lungs, little head adrift Little body bleeds, little hands commit Little brain at its end would have quit No, no, no, that would have been it At the time, that would have been it Little shrunken lungs, little head adrift Little body bleeds, little hands commit Little brain at its end would have quit Would have quit Would have quit Tell me What did I miss Cuz if I wasn’t as you were to me If I wasn’t serious If I wasn’t as you were to me If I wasn’t serious
6.
So I Try 04:44
lyrics
lyrics: When it’s far, when you’re far And the closest I can touch is the sound of a guitar Sweep me in, beneath my skin Let me close my eyes and travel time, surrendering My lullaby, my theme, my comfort, my alarm My old friend, my pen, my keys, my lonely arms A world I knew, a world I love A place that waits for both of us Prove to me one more time there’s more to life So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try This feeling, one more time This feeling, one more time This feeling One more time This feeling, one more time This feeling, one more time This feeling One more time So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try So I try This feeling, one more time This feeling When it’s far, when you’re far And the closest I can touch is the sound of a guitar
7.
I Needed You To 04:10
lyrics
lyrics: I know this This is when the distance kicks in Brushing my skin Glass my hands won’t push against Were you just waiting for the signal From me, from our lives finally intertwined In the ways that panic people We could’ve taken that sign Could’ve been the heuristic Should’ve been Did we miss it? It’s like I’m ready for another round again It’s like I’m ready for another round It’s like I’m ready for another round again And I often think through My life with and without you Not you, my hey boy Not straight to the next choice And now I can see through I was scared, I needed you to And I often think through My life with and without you Not just you, my hey boy Not straight to the next choice And now I can see through I was scared, I needed you to It’s like I’m ready for another round again It’s like I’m ready for another round And I often think through My life with and without you Not you, my hey boy Not straight to the next choice And now I can see through I was scared, I needed you to And I often think through My life with and without you Not just you, my hey boy Not straight to the next choice And now I can see through I was scared, I needed you to Hold me Hold me

about

Chapter 2 of "The Malaise" book follows Little Girl exploring the dialectic nature of Falling and Rising, as she falls into the high of a low of a heartbreak.

credits

released April 10, 2020

Piano, Vocals, Produced by Millaze, Sanctuary Studios. Composed by Emily Anne Plazek. Engineered, Produced, Beats by Andrew Chris, On Tap. 2020 MIC PGH Productions.

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Millaze Bloomington, Indiana

i sail the sea and play piano and add dreams.

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